Help! Our Breeder Says Mother Dog Is “Rejecting” Her 4–6 Week Puppies?

Your breeder contacts you and says the mother dog is “rejecting” her 4–6 week puppies, it sounds scary, right? 

You picture a mom who’s done with her babies and think “Oh no! My poor puppy, I’ll just take my puppy home now to help and make sure the pup gets the care they need”. It’s only naturally to feel that way.

But here’s what’s actually going on: your puppies’ teeth are coming in, nursing hurts their mother, and momma dog goes “ouch, I don’t want to do this any more”. This is normal. This is healthy. And, most importantly, it is definitely not a green light to send puppy to their new home earlier than 8 weeks.

In this stage, mother dogs often shorten nursing sessions. They will stand up instead of lying down, and walk away when pups get grabby. They might growl a little (remember: this is polite dog language) or body‑block a rude puppy. 

Now this is the important part — this is not rejection; it’s just parenting. 

Which is to say that you, as a patron of this breeder, if you are being told that puppy needs to go to you at this stage? You are being fed information that is correct, but this is a normal part of development and not a reason for puppy to go to their forever home.

Normally, a responsible breeder will begin the transition of a puppy’s nutrition from milk to solid food. The weeks between four and eight are pure gold for your puppy’s brain—pulling a pup out early can mess with bite inhibition, dog‑dog communication, and confidence later on. 

Confusing, right? As always, I’m here to help as a professional dog trainer and as someone who has extensively studied early puppy development. So, let’s unpack what “normal weaning” looks like (so you can discuss it with your breeder), what’s actually a red flag with a breeder, and how to handle it if someone pressures you to pick up early.

What’s really happening at 4–6 weeks: teething and weaning

Puppy teeth start erupting around 3–6 weeks. At this age, your cute little dumplings sprout tiny shark teeth, and those sharky teeth (that we hate too!) go onto their mothers sensitive teets – and she begins to pull away. Nature’s answer is gradual weaning. The dam reduces how often and how long she nurses, and the breeder then supports the pups’ transition to solid food to ensure nutrition needs are met and they’re successfully weaned.

What normal looks like (for the dam)

eIt can help to understand what appropriate looks like, because you’re not a dog breeder! Well, you’re most likely not a dog breeder, so, what we will ideally want to see is as follows;

• Nursing less frequently and for shorter bursts; sometimes standing so she can step away
• Calm communications: a low growl, a lip lift, or just walking off when pups get too bitey (ladder of aggression), and you may see more stress signs at this stage
• Still mothering: grooming, supervising, playing, and checking in often
• Encouraging independence and perhaps nudging pups toward the food bowl

Obviously, the natural propensity to motherhood by any dam is variable from dog to dog, and some dogs don’t make good mothers (and note, a good breeder won’t breed those females again). So you may see some of these, or all of these. But the important part is that puppy is still being fed and is hanging out with their siblings.

What responsible breeders do

Understanding what your breeder is meant to be doing can also help you to see and understand whether your breeder is doing everything they should be doing from the 4 week mark.

• Start puppy mush/softened kibble around 4 weeks and build to 3–4+ meals/day (these should be in seperate bowls and seperate crates like the puppies above!)
• Keep clean water available once solids begin
• Give the dam comfy rest breaks away from the litter
• Track puppy weights to be sure everyone’s gaining even as milk intake drops

If these appear to be occuring, it’s definitely worth further inspection as to whether your breeder is new to this and perhaps lacking information, or if they are trying to persue a higher grossing puppy as a “product” — the latter (obviously) should be avoided.

Normal weaning vs. true rejection: knowing the difference

“Mom is rejecting them” gets thrown around a lot, sometimes to gloss over poor management (or to save the breeder a few bucks when it comes to feeding a litter of puppies…). Here’s how to tell the difference between healthy boundaries and an actual problem.

Why sending a puppy home before 8 weeks is a bad idea

As a professional dog trainer, I often get questions from people who are struggling after bringing their puppy home — and this is always a question I target “What age did you bring them home?” as I know it can have an impact.

So, this is the crux of it for me… why is it a bad idea to send them home early? Why is this such a problem? Well, because from about 3 to 12 (sometimes up to 16) weeks, puppies are in a critical socialization window. The 4–8 week slice is where mom and littermates teach core life skills. Removing a puppy because “mom is rejecting them” at five or six weeks cuts them off from those lessons right when they need them most.

And yes! It’s something we can overcome (particularly when guided by a trainer) but it will make the first … year? Maybe two extra difficult for you and pup.

What do puppies learn from their litter?

Your puppy is always learning (and will for their entire life, to be honest), but like most mammals, their early learning definitely sets a precedent for everything that goes after, so let’s look at what puppies learn from their littermates.

• Bite inhibition: rough bites end play; puppies learn to soften their mouths as their siblings will bite back harder, yelp, or cease playing. This teaches them how to bite in terms of continuing play (and actually this is something we build upon when teaching our puppy how to play with humans).
• Dog language: This is how we create polite puppies! Play bows, pauses, growls, lip licks, body blocks—what they mean and when to use them. This is something that we humans will never truly be able to teach, and having a good mother who regulates her puppies, a good breeder who will do similar, and littermates who are normal “practice buddies” really helps.
• Frustration tolerance: waiting turns for nursing, toys, and attention is all part of it too. A Puppy who gets no frustration tolerance is a real handful when in a home setting.
• Confidence and recovery: teeny “startle and bounce back” moments with a safe base nearby — i.e. before we take them into a new environment where things are scary-er (excuse the poor English, just making a point!).
• Self‑regulation: play, eat, sleep cycles inside a predictable routine started by mum and breeder in a safe, structured environment sets the building block for you to mess around with it and build your new routine with puppy.

Now, I know I’m the very one that will tell you that your dog doesn’t need other dogs to be happy in their live (and I will stand by that forever!) but this doesn’t just affect their doggy relationships, it affects you. How? I’m so glad you asked!

Risks of early rehoming:

• Poor bite inhibition and painful mouthing that’s harder to fix later
• Rough play, difficulty reading or respecting other dogs’ signals
• More fearfulness or anxiety, especially around that first “fear period”
• Separation distress after sudden isolation from littermates
• Lower resilience to new sounds, surfaces, and environments

Then, there’s also the legal problem.

Many places prohibit selling or transferring puppies under 8 weeks, full stop.

Veterinary bodies and kennel clubs consistently recommend 8+ weeks with the breeder, and toy/slow‑maturing breeds often do best going home at 10–12 weeks. If someone tells you “the mom is rejecting them, so come get your puppy now,” that’s not aligned with best practices—or in many cases, with the law.

A simple timeline (so you can picture it)

I’m a firm believer that knowledge is power, so, again, if you’re more of a visual learner…

Weeks 4–6: Solid food is established; nursing sessions get shorter. Enrichment ramps up. Pups are curious potatoes with legs.

Weeks 6–8+: Social learning explodes—bite inhibition, dog‑dog communication, frustration tolerance. Foundations for potty, crate, and easy handling begin with the safety net of the litter.

Go‑home age: At least 8 weeks for most, but it would be most ideal to send puppies home at 10–12 weeks as they’re mainly outside of the first fear phase.

Again, transparency matters too. Good breeders can show feeding schedules, weight charts, videos of mom’s interactions, and a written plan for socialization. If you ask “what’s your weaning schedule?” they don’t dodge; they send you the chart.

Red flags vs green flags when you hear “the mom is rejecting them”

This phrase can be used to fast‑track pickups. Here’s how to read the situation quickly.

In an ideal world, your breeder has no red flags, and is only showing green flags! But, if your breeder appears to be behind, or isn’t showing the green flags appropriately

What to do if you’re being pushed to take a 4–6 week puppy

It’s emotional, honestly, I understand.

You want your puppy, the breeder says mom’s done, and your heart says “go.” But please, hit pause. This puppy only gets one shot at this window. So here are 5 things you can ask for or do to maybe help puppies stay with their littermates for that important early development phase.

1 – Ask for details. 

When you’re unsure, asking questions is always the first step, right? So, questions like; “Can you share the weaning plan?”, “What are their current weights?” or “Can you send a video of mom with the litter?” Normal looks like brief nursing, corrections, and lots of non‑nursing contact, or socialisation exercises such as different surface exploration, exposure to sounds, sights, textures etc.

Note: When you get this information, you can also double-check this information with a qualified dog trainer or behaviourist. Booking in an adhoc session with a qualified individual

.

2 – Get veterinary input. 

For the very few instances where puppies should be removed from both mother and their litter – this should be something veterinary. The breeder should go to the vets, and ask them if they have a report of that. Medical issues call for care, not early rehoming of a litter. It is your breeders responsibility to cover any and all veterinary bills during this time, so do ensure that they dont hold you liable for that.

3 – Confirm the timeline. 

Make it explicitly clear to your breeder. Align on an 8 (or over) week go‑home date now, and make it clear you won’t be picking up puppy prior to week 8.

4 – Offer practical support. 

If resources are tight, you can offer supplies or help brainstorm solutions—but don’t accept an early hand‑off as a workaround.

5 – Be prepared to walk. 

If the breeder insists on a 4–6 week pickup, treats the dog as “normal,” or can’t show appropriate care, it’s okay to say no and find another breeder who is more ethical in its approach. This does not mean that you are abandoning a dog; it means that you are not funding irresponsible breeders. 

Note: I often actually suggest reporting these breeders to a local authority (Animal control, police, or animal welfare organisation) in order to begin exposing these people as they’re absolutely slipping through the cracks.

Legal and ethical standards (check your area)

Many regions—across the U.S., the U.K., and beyond—restrict sales or transfers of puppies under eight weeks. Breed clubs and veterinary organizations echo this: keep puppies with mom and litter to at least 8 weeks; for small or slow‑to‑mature breeds, 10–12 weeks is better. Laws vary by state/country, so verify locally, but the direction is consistent. If a breeder brushes off these norms with “mom is rejecting them,” that’s a problem, not a plan.

Why waiting helps your future dog (and you)

Patience here pays you back for years. 

Puppies that finish weaning naturally and soak up those 4–8 week lessons arrive home more resilient. Puppies that have their full term with their littermates they will usually mouth more gently, read other dogs better, bounce back faster from new experiences, and settle into routines with less drama. They also become more patient, more receptive to “feedback”, and become less “bullish” with other dogs and people. 

Of course, this is not to say you don’t need to do work on an 8 week old puppy, it’s more to say you’ll need to do much more work with a 4-8 week old pup than just the time investment. Then, you still need to train, socialise, and keep going with positive exposures, of course—but you’re starting on third base instead of back at the dugout.

On the flip side, pups sent home at 4–8 weeks often struggle with painful mouthing, rough play, fear blips, and separation stress. Can you work through that? Sure! People do all the time. But why stack the deck against both of you when a few more weeks with mom and littermates does so much heavy lifting for you? And that they will learn more, more quickly and more effectively than you can ever do.

Key points to keep in your back pocket

• A mother dog limiting nursing at 4–6 weeks is normal weaning, not abandonment.
• “Mom is rejecting them” is not a valid excuse for early pickup – even if she actually is!
• 8+ weeks with the litter is the standard; 10–12 weeks is often better.
• Early separation risks behavior problems: poor bite inhibition, rough play, fearfulness, and more.
• Ethical breeders have plans: structured weaning, enrichment, weight tracking, and vet oversight.

If pressured to take a very young puppy, ask for receipts (plans, weights, videos), loop in a vet, and be ready to decline this puppy.

It’s Not Rejection, It’s Probably Normal.

Here’s the bottom line: those 4–6 week “rejection” behaviors are almost always just normal weaning. Puppies get teeth, nursing hurts, and a good mom sets boundaries while a good breeder steps up with solid food, structure, and enrichment. This is how puppies learn to be dogs. Sending a puppy home at five or six weeks—because “mom won’t nurse”—short‑circuits that process and can create issues you’ll be unwinding for months.

So don’t rush it. Ask smart questions, expect transparency, and choose breeders who keep puppies until they’re truly ready for the world. Your future dog will thank you in quieter ways—softer mouth, steadier nerves, better dog manners—for the rest of his life. And hey, a couple extra weeks of cute puppy videos while you wait? Not the worst trade‑off in the world, right?

Author, Ali Smith

Ali Smith is a professional, qualified, and multi-award winning trainer is the founder of rebarkable. She has always believed animals deserve kindness and champions force free methods. Believing that dog guardians will all choose the kindest options if proper information is provided, she aims to help all dog guardians who need it and make dog training as accessible as possible

Ali lives win Maryland, US with her husband and her three dogs.